A Day I Never Want to Relive

The first couple of weeks of baby deux's life were seamless. She slept all of the time, her big sister adored her. I was getting great sleep and the house was put together. And then. Well she woke up. She cried. And cried. And cried some more. If you asked big sister what baby sister does, she would answer "Baby only cries." It was heart breaking to me, (nerve wracking to the husband).

Just shy of baby deux's first month she was sleeping in the rock-n-play in the living room upstairs. Big sister and I had been eating breakfast and watching Mickey Mouse in the same room. I looked over at her and she was blue, and not just tinged but like full on dark blue turning gray. Her eyes were bugged out of her head and not a sound to be made by her. Her head was cranked back at some unhuman angle and I thought "oh my gosh she is siezing."

I scooped her up flipped her belly down and proceeded to do the hymlic (thank goodness for infant CPR certifications).  I then flipped her back over and suctioned her mouth and throat out. I got blood and lots of frothy mucus. After what seemed like an eternity - cries. Feeble at first turing to loud angry hurt cries. I immediately felt relief, thank goodness she is breathing, followed closely by terror.

I immediately called the doctor who instructed us to go to the closest ER. Racing around as I was throwing stuff in a bag I called the husband, grabbed both children and started buckling them into the car. My husband gets home in record speed and jumps in the drivers seat and we are off. I am in the back with my eyes glued to the baby. I chant please do not seize or choke or stop breathing, over and over until we arrive at the hospital.

Once we arrived we rush in, to stand in line. Yup there is a line in the ER full of germs. YUCK. My doctor had called in our emergency and a  PICU nurse was waiting for us. Thank goodness. We are escorted upstairs and the pediatrician on call comes right in. After assessing her, asking lots of questions it is determined that she choked on spit up. She has reflux. Badly. Her throat was already swollen and raw from it (at a mere few weeks old). She was prescribed meds, instructed to stay up right for up to an hour after feedings and sleep in an inclined positions.

We were discharged. The baby was held ALL day. The thought of just not catching it in time scared the bejesus out of me. Two years of parenting and the first ER trip, though with the dare devil of an older sister I am sure not the last!

I think six months later I am now just beginning to sleep without seeing that sight.

An update on the reflux. This poor child has it badly. Constant spit up. She eats and moves - it comes right back up. She gets sick, lots of spit up. Lots of choking. Lots of medicine. I am happy to report now though at 6 months we are starting to show some improvement. Less crying, more sleeping - still the same amount of spit up. Oh well we have gotten used to that part!

The Birth Story: Part Two

I finally come to the conclusion that I am definitely having this baby tonight. 

This is where the urgency starts kicking in.

I yell at my husband to get out of the shower. We need to leave now. I grab our bags, run in and kiss our daughter one last time and get in the car. I got back out of the car because I wanted some jelly beans. I got back in the passenger seat. At first I had wanted to drive but after getting the jelly beans I realize that is probably not realistic.  Sitting down is now uncomfortable.  The contractions are intense, lasting about 2 minutes and back to back. Maybe 30 seconds in between. I am also bleeding pretty heavily at this point.

Our hospital is about 45 minutes away. It is 10:47PM when we leave our house.  We make it a few miles before the sitting down starts to get unbearable. I am gripping the handle bar and console to lift myself off my tailbone. The seat belt felt very restricting but my husband is adamant I kept it on. The roads are still snow covered and icy. I tell him he needs to hurry.

He wonders out loud where he should go (there is a closer hospital to our house but my doctors do not attend there). I remember telling him I only wanted my doctors so he turns to head that way. We gott behind a slow red car, I tell him probably ten times to just pass it. Typically he would have been passing with me telling at him to slow down. Of all nights he wants to drive cautiously.  During the drive I can feel the baby moving down. We finally make it to the town where the hospital is and hit a red light, I tell him to run through it. AFter sitting at it for far too long (in reality probably only a minute) he does. He tells me to stay aware of where we are because he isn’t 100% sure on the directions to the hospital (he was sleep deprived in his defense). When we are about 5 miles from the hospital everything gets a little blurry. I want to push but am able to talk myself through the contractions without pushing. We finally make it to the hospital (in reality my husband got us there in less than 20 minutes but it felt like forever). It is 11:05PM. He drives around the parking lot a million times looking for a good parking spot, I finally yell just park the damn car. He of course parks at the bottom of the parking lot. I make him grab our bags as I am scrambling to get out of the car. I start running towards the entrance, over snow banks through the parking lot clutching my crotch as I swear the baby is going to fall out. I got to the door and ring the bell as I turn to see where my husband is I see him talking on the phone. WTH "Get off the phone." He had called his mother. I think because he was panicked he wasn't sure exactly what to do. The nurse asks who we are and why we are here. I tell them I am in labor (eerily calm at this point). They let us in and tell us to wait at triage. I cannot sit; I pace and clutch my husband’s shoulders wondering how long it is going to take them to get there. I hear laughing and chatting as the nurses walk slowly down the hall, I want to urge them to hurry, I however remain quiet.

As they round the corner and see me they stop laughing and starting asking questions, probably assuming I am being dramatic (I mean I would have). When they realize my first labor was 4 hours from start to finish (the doctor barely made that one) and that I was 5 cm dilated late last week they start taking me seriously. The one nurse wants to do a quick check (I am still clothed) and standing up. She checks before I can move and stands up wide-eyed.

The baby is close to crowning, water bags bulging. Both nurses jump into action. One starts paging the doctor on call because they are sure mine won’t make it in time and the other helps me on the gurney and starts pushing me down the hall. The first nurse joins her and starts pulling my clothes off (I was not happy about this part though I knew I couldn’t have a baby with pants on). We get into a room. The contractions are really intense. I sigh/huff loudly though them. I think I may have yelled OWWW at one point.  I keep saying I needed to pee. The nurses do not want me to go. I finally convinced them I will not push and they allowed me to walk to the bathroom.  As soon as I sit down my water breaks. They both yelled at me to get back on the bed. The head is crowning. Walking with a crowning head is not recommended. It is extremely uncomfortable. I layed down and automatically started pushing. I tell one of the nurses I am sorry. I yell OW again. My doctor walks through the door.  At this point I think the contractions make me nervous and I started panicking. The first nurse was amazing. She rubbed my leg made me look at her and talked me through them. She was a life saver. The doctor yanks off her coat puts on a gown and gloves then stated the baby is coming. I pushed two times total. The first time her head came out, the second time her body. My husband announced it’s a girl! I knew it! She was born at 11:14PM, nine minutes after arriving at the hospital.  All natural. My active labor was about 40 minutes long. I was told if we decide to have more (as the doctor is stitching me up), I need to move to the hospital or have a home birth. The nurses on call that night were amazing. I cannot imagine going through that without them.

After still nameless baby girl was born I was allowed to spend lots of skin to skin time with her. Something I didn’t get to do with my first since she was a preemie.  It was amazing. I cherish those few miuntes breathing in my second miracle. After they cleaned her up and brought her back over our breastfeeding journey started. She was as sweet as pie and nursed like a champ again so different than my first who was too small to latch on.  My husband and I oohed and awed over her for like an hour.  He called our family and announced the news that baby w had arrived.

I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, well maybe not being in a car while I was transitioning. Or running through the parking lot thinking a baby was coming out.  I am glad we made it to the hospital in time.

And after typing up this birth story I am ready for baby #3! #givemeallthebabies

The Birth Story: Part One

I wanted to write this down since it’s a great story and I already love to reminisce about the birth of our second miracle daughter.

A little synopsis of this second pregnancy:

I had preterm labor issues. My second pregnancy was no different than the first. The second time I was put on drugs (to relax my uterus) and bed rest much sooner, around week 12.  I tried very hard to follow doctors’ orders; I stayed off my feet and did not exercise at all. I did nurse my eldest though (with permission from my OB/GYN). Thr doctors were skeptical that I would make it to the date my first daughter was born 36 weeks 3 days.

Week 36: I was supposed to stop taking all medications; however a snow storm was in the forecast so with the okay from my doctor I continued until week 37. Contractions were hard and close together anytime I stood up. I had weaned my daughter to only nursing right before nap and bed times.

Week 37: Doctor Appointment shows the baby flipped (head up), I freaked out. I did not want a C-section (though obviously I would do whatever was in the best interest of my baby). The next evening while in the refridgerator I felt TONS of pain and ripping. It brought me to my knees (even birth didn’t do that). Sure enough baby decided head down was a much better position. I thanked God a million times. I prayed hard that this baby would decide to go head down and the my prayers were answered.

Week 38: Another snow storm is in the works (worst winter ever for worrying about going into labor) for the night before St. Patrick’s Day. Doctors are all amazed I am still pregnant. I am 90% effaced and 4.5-5cm dilated (I had been dilated since about week 12-13, well not that much though).

And so the story begins:

My last day of work was Friday March 14. After talking with my doctor about my concern (and hers) about having the baby at home or on the way to the hospital we decided to head in Monday to have my water broken and get this baby out (38 weeks). Of course Sunday night it started storming and we got several inches (perhaps even a foot) of snow, the hospital called me Sunday night/Monday morning really early and told me to head in Tuesday morning bright and early due to the storm and staffing issues. No biggie. I stayed off my feet (except when I took the dogs out to feed the animals since my husband was plowing snow). I had hard contractions, nothing new.  

My husband got home around lunch time. We cleaned the house. Prepared for the new baby. I was also preparing to leave my daughter for the first time ever. Hello pregnancy hormones. I was a mess. I tried to spend as much time with her doing the things she loved all day. Coloring, reading, painting and dancing. My mother-in-law came up later that night to stay so we didn’t have to wait for her to get there since we had to leave at 5:30AM. I still felt totally fine.

Around 8PM or so I started getting nervous, I thought it was due to me having to leave my first baby. I didn’t really want to sit down. After eating Chinese food for dinner around 9PM (a few bites really). I decided to take a shower with my daughter. We took a 20 minute shower. It felt wonderful.  I had several contractions in a row, hard but again nothing new. I finished getting her ready for bed and spent extra time brushing her long blonde hair and singing silly songs as we brushed her teeth.  As I laid down with her, she nurses for less than 3 minutes and passes out snuggled against my neck. At this point I am starting to realize I have been having hard consist contractions. My stomach was really hurting during them and the pain lingers when they are over.  I still think nothing of it. I headed downstairs to visit with my husband and mother-in-law. Really to go over the routine’s, point out where everything is and try to assure myself that my baby would be okay (the first one that is).  I urged my husband to shower and get to bed. He hadn’t slept since Saturday night. It is now 10:30PM on Monday night. Before he goes up I start having to walk through the contractions. I finally realize they are about 1 minute long in duration and 2 minutes apart. Hmm. I debated on calling the doctor so I call my mom instead. She yells at me. Tells me I am going to have this baby at home if I don’t head to the doctor right this minute. I brush her off but decided to just call the doctor and see what she says. The new to the practice doctor is on call and I have yet to meet her in person. She tells me to head in and she would come in and check me. Regardless if I am in active labor they will keep me and break my water.  This was a huge worry for me. I am not sure why but I did not want to go and be sent home because I wasn’t in active labor. The contractions feel the same to me as they always have. I head to the bathroom after a contraction since all of the sudden I had to pee right then (not normal for me pregnant or not).  As I headed to the bathroom I felt a gush. I thought it was my water breaking, it was not but I had started bleeding.  My husband just got in the shower.  

 

To be continued ... (I hate doing this but it is just TOO long).

Updates Smupdates

Well with no computer and very little down time, this space has been neglected (AGAIN). I love being a mommy and my girls hold my attention when I am not at work. I hope to be better about making a few minutes each night to jot down notes and update posts so I can remember this time in our lives when our children are too busy to want to play with mommy and daddy in the evenings.

That birth story is coming...it's amazing and hysterical, really!

My littlest is 4.5 months already. Where does the time go? 4 monthly posts coming as well:)

My oldest amazes me on the daily. She really is the smartest toddler ever (said all children's parents)!

We currently have only one in daipers, my girl potty trained, easily in about 2 days. No diapers for her AT ALL. Not at nap time or bedtime. She really does amaze me. I just love her so.

Be on the look out for these posts. I promise they are coming. At this moment though I am off to pick up my kidlets and go swimming. Isn't that what summer is all about?

Me and my babies getting on the Ferris Wheel. We all LOVED it!

(HEW) Month 2-4

Dearest Baby (Deux),

In the interest of time saving, I have combined a few months in two posts to get caught up.

:Month Two:

This was our hardest month yet. The reflux was out of control and my best sleeping baby decided sleep was overrated. This was also my last month of maternity leave. I was off a litte into month three but not the entire month. Lots of screams, spitting up and no sleep. The crying would wake your sister which in turn would equal MORE crying since no one wanted daddy to put them to sleep or back to sleep it meant mommy was constantly rocking, shushing, patty and laying down to put one to sleep before the next woke.

We finally were able to get the crying under control during the day but evenings and nighttime still were H.A.R.D. Big sister towards the end adjusted to the crying and was not waking every single time baby woke. (Thank the lord above).

We celebrated Easter (shortly into your second month of life) and Memorial Day, as well as Big Sister C's 2nd Birthday. It was precious. Matching outfits, gift baskets and Easter Egg hunting to be had. Having two sweet sister girls really was amazing this month.

At the peds your growth was lagging (most likely due to your spitting up constantly and your fell way down on the curve).  Prayers that the meds work better on a new dosage and schedule.

:Month Three:

Daycare starts. Tears for all involved (mommy, big sister and baby). It was a rough few weeks. No one slept much or ate at all at daycare. We have another baby that HATES the bottle so mommy goes at lunch time to nurse. Big Sister saw me one day and FAARREAKKKED out so now mommy army crawls up the hallway to prevent that diaster from ever happening again! Talk about heart wrenching.

We had our first family vacation to the beach and big sister adored it! The water was freezing but she had no worries and played in the sand and walked up to her neck in the ocean (with daddy). Traveling was great, night sleeping - not so great. We apologized like a million times to our neighbors since the baby pretty much screamed constantly all the live long night.

:Month Four:

We finally are seeing the light of day. The crying is starting to dwindle, thank the heavens above. My husband and crying babies are like oil and water. It was hard on him and our relationship. We have survived it though ;-)

Now your bright eyes and huge smile light up when you see your daddy,

your sister or your mommy. You have the cutest grin and biggest blue eyes. You seem to be the happiest baby now. You still are spitting up a lot and are not a huge fan of it but it doesnt elicit the death terror screams anymore. (You still have to speak in my left ear from the ringing in my right).

We are enjoying summer with our sweet girls and you seem to think everything is so fun!

You are still super petite but finally growing. (I suppose you are keeping some more of your meals down and are eating more frequently at night). Still not eating much during the day since you refuse a bottle.

We love you more than you will ever know. We could not have imagined a more perfect set of girls!

Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister C!

Here, mostly.

Two kids, two full-time work outside the home parents, and lots of animals plus springtime makes for no blogging. However, I plane on documenting our second little lady’s arrival into this world, it is a crazy story that I always want to remember, as well as her monthly milestones on the regular. So, thatis in the works, most likely. Until then, here is a sweet picture of our second daughter, and one of use three ladies. I feel so blessed I get to be a mommy to these little ladies. My world feels amazing (even through trying times, more on that later though).

 

Me and my little ladies

Getting ready to celebrate big sister's 2nd birthday!


 

 

Baby has arrived!

Our DAUGHTER has arrived. And in a hurry. (More on that to come as I finish the birth story. Born on St. Patty's Day. We are all smitten, especially big sister. She is in heaven having her own baby:)

Hope everyone enjoyed the Easter weekend.

(HEW) Month One

Dearest Baby (Deux),

In your first month of life, you were a breeze the first two weeks and then slowly transformed into a terror. (Is that awful to admit?) You slept away your first two weeks, happy as a clam to eat and sleep and ya know do your business. Big Sister had the best of both worlds, a little baby to hold and help mommy dress and diaper and LOTS of mommy time since I was home on maternity leave. Around the end of your second week of life you had your first trip the emergency room. I would just like to note that your big sister has never had a trip there so this was a first for mommy and daddy and probably scared 10 years off both of our lives. You were also diagnosed with severe acid reflux which mommy knew you had, just to clarify. I plan on writing a separate post on the ER trip but just wanted to document it in your first month update.

You are eating like a champ nursing about every 3-3.5 hours around the clock. At night you eat and after I hold you up for 20-30 minutes to keep it down go right back to sleep in your rock and play next to the bed. I do stare at you more than I did your sister since the whole spitting up your entire meal all day every day scares me to death

Again your sister never spit up at all and you it's a ton always. You refuse a pacifier but we will keep on a keepin on in regards to that. I have noted you sleep much better on your belly (again so unlike you sister) and the pediatrician did comment that reflux babies tend to do better on their bellies with a side of however we do not recommend belly sleeping due to SIDS etc etc. So on your belly you go when I am awake, on me you go when I am sleepy. (We are defintely a co-sleeping family).

When you started to have more aware times during the day the reflux and spitting up really put a cramp in your style. You pretty much screamed your way through the days and nights. Hours upon hours of constant crying. The moby was a life saver most of the time, though you still would cry in that if you spit up. We tried two different meds and lots of different dosages before we were able to get something that helped some oh and mommy gave up all dairy ::Sigh:: That seems to have helped the upset belly quite a bit in regards to gas discomfort and diarrhea but not spitting up.

You have fit in seamlessly and we cannot imagine our lives without you in sweet girl. We just love you so!

Happiest First Month of Life!

Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister C

A Must Read

As I browsing through blogs this morning I stumbled upon Hello! Happiness and the amazing Natasha. I read this blog post, that she has referenced from another article. It quite literally brought tears to my eyes.

As we prepare to welcome our second baby and raise our rambunctious daughter it speaks to both my husband and I. I hope we are able to raise our daughter and baby (boy or girl) in a way that they know they are loved, understood, listened too, guided, confident, loving and full of Grace.I pray that our actions will always speak louder than our words, but that our words will be what they need to grow into compassionate adults. I hope they (still seems odd to me to say they instead of her) will always come home to their parents for guidance, reassurance, and love but will know they can go out in the world on their own. We pray they will be confident in who they are and where they came from and do things that make them happy and the world a better place!

Here are the twenty-five things daughters want their daddies to know (though I feel that this applies to sons as well):

1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer, I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re “just joking” is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart, is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right & good & pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.

 

 

Weeks 35 and 36

I am still here, pregnant. How the doctors are unsure but I am and I am thankful for a healthy babe!

Weeks 35 and 36 brought more doctor appointments. Measuring, checking and assessing. Baby seems to be growing - though still measuring smaller. I find this odd still as my belly seems more rounded out this pregnancy. I have officially been pregnant longer than I was with our daughter. She made her debut at 36 weeks 3 days (in a matter for an hour or two).  The doctors worry about me making it to the hospital on time. GREAT. For some reason this fear does not worry me. Am I niave? Maybe.

Still 100% effaced and 4.5cm dialated. They will bring me to the hospital at 5cm and break my water OR at 39 weeks (St. Patrick's Day) to ensure both baby and I arrive to the hospital safely.

I will try and update a picture of the bump soon!

But I am here, waiting, impatiently. Scared of leaving my daughter overnight, but excited to meet our second sweet babe.

a little update on the big sister

{21 Months}

Eating: She is pretty good at trying new things and will generally eat one meal plus breakfast really well, either lunch or dinner. She has allergies so ingredient lists are always read. She currently cannot eat nuts, grains (wheat, barley, oats, or rye) and no seafood. So this limits us some however there are lots of options due to gluten intolerance. Of course she LOVES pizza so we have to always have a frozen (gluten free) pizza in the freezer. She also eats alot of Amy's Wheat Free Mac and Cheese which she also loves. She will eat most all veggies and fruits. Her favorite foods currently are: sausage, cheese, oranges, bananas, apples or applesauce, greens (as in collard greens, mixed greens and spinach), cream of spinach, broccoli and banana cream greek yogurt.

Talking: She is talking up a storm. She easily says 100+ words and often strings words together. No bath, I want to nurse, go downstairs, go mommy go, Cede is at the house, Come on Chubbi (Virgil or Cede), I played with Maddie (Addie, Lucas, Lin, Mia, etc). She always tells me about her day and what the big happenings were at "school". It is amazing how fast she picks things up. She always looks to me when she hears a new word and waits for my reaction. Such as she knows she is not allowed to say "damn it" even though her father tries all the time. :) She also says "I'm mommy's girl!" unless being prompted by Daddy then she will occassionally say Daddy's girl (but only if prompted). LOL

Nursing: We are still nursing first thing in the AM (limited to 2-5 minutes), at nap time and before bed. Occassionally I will allow her to nurse once in the middle of the night but normally I try to get her back to sleep on her own.

School: She does to daycare full time 6:30-4:15 Mon-Thur. I get compliments from all of her teachers with how intelligent she is. She can identify all of her colors and shapes, tell you the letter her name starts with, count to ten, sing about five or six different songs along with sign them all the way through, sing the ABCs, name probably 100 animals and know all of the corresponding animal sounds and probably so much more. She'll color and paint for hours (it seems), can completely work the iPad and mommy's phone (woops) and tell you exactly what she wants and when she wants it.

 

Milestones: We have moved out of mommy and daddy's bed into her own big girl bed (twin sized). She goes to sleep amazingly well - lays down nurses for 5-10 minutes and then falls asleep on her own normally. She will wake up one to two times through out the night or early morning calling for mommy. I go in and lay down with her until she goes back to sleep. Sometimes I let her come back to our bed if she is having a reaction to something she ate or a bad night of sleep or I am super tired. She definately sleeps much deeper in our bed but I am so happy she moved to her big girl bed without issue. I am so proud of her.

Stats: (my peanut)

                   Weight: 18 lbs 12 ounces
                   Height: 30 inches
                   Head: I dont remember the actual measurement but it was like 5%

The doctors are happy with her curve and she is thriving obviously with all of her learning and growth.

Her father and I love her more than life itself and are so grateful we were chosen to be her parents. We love you to the moon and back times infinity baby big girl!

Weeks 33 and 34

Currently I am still pregnant and 35 weeks 2 days.

I had doctor appoinments both weeks 33 and 34. The doctors are keeping a close eye on my progress. They are worried about a fast delivery and want to make sure I make it to the hospital especially if this bambino decides to come before week 36 or 37.

Week 33:

I get internal checks every week now insert sacrasm. I am still dialating, about 2.5cm and almost completely effaced. I was instructed to stay off my feet and take it easy. They would see me next week. I did have the strep B culture done this time since they never got the results last time and I was unnecessarily given antibiotics.

Week 34: My doctors office called my in early. My first appoint was scheduled for Friday and they moved it up to Wednesday due to the impending bad weather. An ultrasound was performed since I am now 3cm dialated and completely effaced however the doctor was not quite sure where the baby's head was located. Turns out breech. Great. Now my instructions are if I think I am in labor head to the hospital for a emergency cesarean. I will admit I melted down as soon as I got to the car. My husband was freaked out poor guy when I called him. I am thinking there was some turning action that night as I woke up in severe pain. Like knives stabbing into my stomach. Then it was over. I am praying that this sweet babe is now head down.

34 weeks baby #2



Thoughts: I am really really anxious about leaving my sweet girl. I am not 100 % confident in who she will be with and that makes it even harder. Plus she has allergy issues, has never been put to sleep by someone else and I worry about having a c-section and being away from her for days on end. I have realized I have no choice and need to relax some but I cannot help it. Please tell me I am not alone. My husband will be with me for the birth and first 20 hours and then he will be headed back home to care for our girl (thank goodness). I am hoping I get released with baby at 24 hours, however I have to prepare for the worst case scenario and that could be longer.

My girl and I baking up a storm. (Yes we still rock our Christmas PJs)

Weeks 31 and 32

Weeks 31 and 32 (Currently I am 34 weeks)

Still feeling larger than I was at this point in my pregnancy with our daughter.  Contractions have been much stronger and more intense, lasting anywhere from 30-90 seconds each. Having more and more of them. Trying to stay off my feet as much as possible, we want this baby to bake a couple more weeks (at least).

It is so hard for me to grasp the fact that I am going to have another baby so soon. I cannot believe it. I am scared out of my wits and so excited - at the same time. Please tell me this is not unusual. I am worried about my relationship with my daughter most of all. I am having tons and tons of anxiety about leaving my daughter as well. My hope is I only will have a 24 hour hospital stay. The thought of leaving her longer than that about kills me. (Am I crazy?) So baby, if you are listening, please stay in the tummy until we hit 36 weeks.

We have set up the big girl bed and started moving and decorating her room. She loves the idea of it but has yet to actually sleep in her own bed yet. (I need to pick up a toddler safety rail). I did try to put her down for a nap in there and that was a no go. Needless to say we moved into my bed and she was out like a light. We'll keep trying. Any tricks or tips on moving out of mommy's bed to their own bed would be much appreciated.

We celebrated my birthday during my 32nd week. My husband, daughter and I went out to a yummy new restaraunt and took our girl to the bounce room at the local mall. She was in heaven. My husband thought she would be scared. HA! We had to bribe her out of there. Though I do feel like it is a germ trap, she had a blast. We sterilized, and sanitized anything that was in that place when we made it back to the car!

Five On Friday! {A Link-Up}

Hitting a new first with a five on friday link-up with the wonderful ladies of  a. liz adventures, carolina charm, hello! happiness, and the good life blog.

{one}

soaking in every spare second of time with just my girl as she will be joining the ranks of big sister any day. (though hopefully not until after Valentine's Day).

{two}

this polar vortex can move along now. snow I do not mind. cold, wind and ice everywhere - no good. especially for this pregnant girl with no balance and a baby toddler in my arms at all times.

{three}

cannot wait to spend some birthday gift cards on some new clothes for me after bambino arrives. all of these cute pins, and idea boards are making me itchy for some fun non maternity clothing.

{four}

need to learn how to accessorize outfits with things other than scarves. I love the look of big statement necklaces but never quite sure how to wear them.

{five}

this weekend we will be preparing away. deep cleaning the house, finishing up the big girl room for the official switching of beds (from ours to hers). and getting the last minute baby gear prepared. I will be so happy and less anxious about baby deux's arrival when this is completed. HAPPY WEEKEND.

So What Wednesday

Today I am saying so what if:

The weather is crappy outside. it has been. it's winter. it is to be expected. I am enjoying the occassional snow day and the long afternoons inside to do new things with my girl. We are preparing for our new addition. (which could come soon says the doctor). We are painting, doing crafts, coloring, and occassionally venturing outside for a sledding session. We drank our first hot coco with marshmellows, made cookies and muffins, and attempted our first movie. We are just enjoying the closeness of one another during this cold season. Our days with just one girl are coming to an end and we are trying to squeeze every minute out of the day to enjoy her to the fullest. I am sure our new adventure will be just as much fun with lots of laughter and joy, this season of easy afternoons and lazy evenings will be a thing of the past!

Happy winter.

(Though if I hear one person comment about how hot it is outside this summer, they may get a swift kick to the throat, just saying).

Almost Current (30 Weeks)

Thoughts on 30 Weeks (currently I am 32 weeks):

Dr Appt update as of Friday January 10^th. Baby is still measuring on the smaller side. Scheduling an ultrasound to check fluids and growth for next appointment.

Still feeling great. My belly seems bigger this pregnancy to me, however I am measuring much smaller - how does that happen?

Having fears of my water breaking at any moment. I am not ready to meet this baby yet. I need time to prepare myself and  I would like a healthy newborn, so praying we can hang on until at least 34 weeks.

Nursing is still going strong which is one of the hard parts about this pregnancy. It is now causing contractions - intense contractions and well I am on medications and monitors to STOP the contractions so I can see this ending not so well. Emotionally or physically. I still keep hoping and praying my daughter will wean herself. The less traumatic the better for both of us.

Still need advice on a double stroller. My preference is the Baby Jogger GT double. However is side by side better or tandem. Any moms out there with 2 under 2? or two 2 and under (as my daughter turned 20 months last week and will be hopefully 21 or 22 months when baby #2 makes their appearance). That being said she is tiny, think the size of a 12 month old.  Advice is greatly appreciated, in regards to the stroller issue. What works best for this age range? Activity? Storage size is not an issue for us however.

 

Still Catching Up (Weeks 24-29)

Weeks 24-29:

I am getting closer to real time and also closer to d-day. I am having the same complications as the previous pregnancy, lots of contractions, preterm labor scares and dialation. I have been put on modified bed rest with instructions to only be up to fix meals and shower. (I try really hard to follow these rules however I have a 19 month old). We do lots of playing on mommy and around mommy. I am still working (behind a desk or at home in bed).  I am being monitored closely.

C still nurses (though we have managed to reduce the sessions from 7 to about 3, occasionally 4) I categorize this as a win. I feel much bigger than when I was 29 weeks with my first pregnancy. I feel like I am carrying more out in front of me and not so much in the hips. Weight gain is about the same. Currently I am on two drugs to prevent preterm labor/ reduce the chances of it. Both are safe to be taken while nursing. Obviously not nursing is the goal but my doctor is perfectly okay with reducing and not causing stress to both her and I.

We have yet to prepare for baby #2. At this point in my first pregnancy everything was done and we had our baby shower the following weekend. I did pull out bins that needed sorting through and baby items that need to be moved and washed. It will get done. We have the basics, car seat, bassinet, and moby wrap.  At least the baby has food (me), a place to sleep, and a place to ride in the car. The basics are covered right? I do need advice, what are the best double strollers. I have been researching and researching and cannot make a decision. I need advice from someone who has used one.

Our to-do list has been growing and we are gearing up for a couple of busy weekends working on big girl room and nursery overhaul. I cannot believe that I will be (most likely) having a baby next month (in February)! My due date is not until March but the doctors stop the drugs at 34-35 weeks since their effectiveness drastically drops. My first pregnancy, C was born the day after. I anticipate a similar situation. However, that being said there is no guarentee. Baby could stay in place until 40 weeks. You just never know.

 

Weeks 21-24

The husband and I have been busy planning away.  Financially as well as physically. Where will big sister sleep? Currently she sleeps next to her mommy, in her mommy's bed. While I love this now I know soon it will get uncomfortable and disrupt our sleep. But do I transistion her now? Or when it gets uncomfortable? I do not want her to feel displaced at all.

How will we afford that second daycare bill? Man, daycare is expensive and call me particular but you had better have some outstanding credentials to stay with my prize all day every day. No Tom, Dick or Harry is ok for me. I want education and the more of it the better. And I want people, lots of people and children around. The more the merrier (this is from too many crazy news stories probably).

The belly is growing now. You can physically see the baby jumping away in there. Hand here. Foot there. I can even grab the hiney if positioned just right. But this babe is so different from big sister. Calmer. Less rolly poly more kick jab punch. Awake at different times and no hiccups yet. C had them constantly everyday all day (poor thing).

My weight gain has been slower this time, which does not surprise me with the way that C nurses still. My belly seems higher to me, and rounder. I have yet to compare pictures. This is all from memory.

I am finally comfortable telling people I am pregnant. I have hit viability. My baby has a chance to live if born now and that always eases my mind.

Just a few more months until we meet our sweet second child. I still cannot believe I am getting the chance to get another tiny human.

Week 20: Still catching up

Week 20:

I go to a maternal fetal specialist every two weeks and my ob every four weeks. The maternal fetal specialist does ultrasounds every visit. It has been amazing to see our sweet baby growing right before our eyes.

Big sister almost always accompanies me to these appointments. She sits next to me on the bed and stares in wonder at the screen repeating baby over and over. It lights me up. That and she scolds the doctor or ultrasound tech for touching my bare belly. She constantly tries to pull my shirt down.  She is going to be an amazing big sister. She kisses my belly and when prompted will point out the baby in mommy’s tummy. Sometimes the baby is even in her tummy. However this new baby has not stopped big sister from nursing, it may have even turned up her desire. She still nurses between 5-7 times a day. Let me remind you, I work full-time outside of the home. She goes to daycare for 9.5 hours a day and still manages to get up to 7 nursing sessions in. Advice on weaning welcomed. Aversion has set in. This breaks my heart since it makes something I enjoy feel awful in a weird way. It mostly only affects me if I cannot see her (in the middle of the night) or if she is having one of those will not unlatch nursing sessions (most often when she isn’t feeling 100%). Recently I have read that aversion can be linked to dehydration too so I have been trying to drink massive amounts of water. I still have hopes that she will self wean. I have attempted on several occasions to reduce the number of nursing sessions. SCREAMS. That is what I get and I cannot handle it so we are on her schedule for the time being.

Thoughts on being 20 weeks (more than halfway there if this pregnancy follows my last). I cannot believe how fast everything is going. Still amazed I am going to have another baby.  Both my husband and I are feeling more and more blessed!

On a side note, in real time I am 30 weeks today. Preparations for baby #2 are underway. Advice on the best double strollers for a smaller toddler and a newborn are appreciated. There are so many to choose from. Also advice on transitioning to a big girl bed are welcomed.

Let's start from the beginning

Pregnancy Notes Weeks 4-20                     

We found out I was pregnant, Friday July 12^th.  My first OB appointment was August 14^th. During the exam the doctor was a little concerned that my uterus felt so small. She was doubtful there was a viable pregnancy. She brought in her trusty ultrasound machine and took a look. Sure enough there was one beating heart and baby measuring right on track. 8 weeks. We did not announce our pregnancy to family until I hit the 12 week mark, and then we did not announce to friends, coworkers, acquaintances until close to 20 weeks. We had a few complications and I was unsure we would make it to viability. It is easier for me to process things internally. Once we hit 20 weeks I felt much more comfortable announcing.

 

Here we go.. Baby #2...

 

I hope to publish the rest of my notes that catch us up to today (currently I am almost 30 weeks).

SSW

It has been a while so why not on this frigid Wednesday join up for a So What Wednesday!

 

 

This week I am saying so what if:

 

• I laid in bed an extra 15 minutes. It is COLD outside and that is one of the first things I do, go outside to tend the animals. I am over winter.
• I am from the WAY northeast, and I do not like cold. There is a reason I moved south.
• all of my laundry is clean, dry and folded. It has not been put away yet.
• I am so thankful that this Friday I am off. Yay for altnerative work schedules.
• I am 29 weeks pregnant and have not yet started preparing for baby.
• My child is trying to potty train herself at 19 months old and I am not ready. She is still my baby. However, since she is so determined we will be in full on potty training mode soon. Sigh.
• I look at my blog frequently because I love the pretty design. I could not be happier with Jessica from Diamond Doll Designs. She is amazing.
• Thrilled that regular TV programming is coming back. Not that I have time. Thankful for DVR and the occassional snow day.

Head over and link up.

 



Twenty Fourteen

There is something about even years. I LOVE them. Is that odd? (chuckle).

2014 is going to be a big year for the W family. We are growing by one (soonish). My actual due date is the end of March however things seem to be progressing as they did with Baby Toddler C so most likely we will be having a baby NEXT MONTH. I cannot believe it. This has been the fastest 7.5 months of my life. (That I had every intention of documenting on this blog and well that didnt happen). A new year and a new start.

I am anxious, excited, filled with wonder and fear.

I am most anxious about how C takes this new adjustment. She is our world currently (and knows it). I am hopefully that she has been raised, thus far, to be generous and caring. She loves to momma her babies and adores our animals. I hope this caring nature falls onto her baby sibling. I pray she isnt resentful or too jealous. I hope she still loves her mommy as she did before baby arrived. Is this a silly fear?

I am anxious about leaving my baby girl over night. I have not left her for more than a few hours (for work) at a time. Never overnight and never with anyone other than her father. This terrifies me. Like to the point of "Can I just have this baby at home?" No seriously, can I? I hope Baby #2 comes after the safe point and no NICU stay is necessary. I pray the delivery is smooth and we are allowed to leave as soon as possible.  Most of all I pray for health for both baby and I.

All that being said, I am excited to start this next journey of our lives together. I am excited to watch my daughter become a big sister. I am a big sister and I loved and adored it, actually still do. My little sister was my favorite toy :) She still is, even though she is a momma to three handsome men now, she was and will always be my little sister.

Of course I am excited to see my husband welcome a new member to our family. He has become such a wonderful caring father. Our daughter adores him. It warms my heart and I cannot wait to see this happen again (and again Lord willing).

So cheers to a bright 2014.

New!

The New Year brought a NEW blog design. Jessica from Diamond Doll Designs did an AMAZING job. I could not be happier. She was so easy to work with and so quick! She came up with the perfect design, with very little information from me.

Thank you thank you thank you!

Now to work on lots of posts. So much to catch up on and so much new going into this new year. I cannot wait to jot it all down.