Monday Monday

Monday is here again.

This seems to be a recurring theme. And happens faster than I can blink my eyes.

I say it time and time again. I am going to update on C's monthly posts (all 8 of themuplaod. One day I will get it together. Do you like the positive attitude?!?! Anyway, just a quick HI and a reminder to myself to get it together.

I did wake up this morning with a serious case of the Mondays, insert sad face.

A little back story why. Saturday Baby C and I headed to a little baby shower fun for a friend welcoming her first baby BOY in March. All these wonderful local mommies were there with their babies and baby bellies, inviting me to all of these play groups, baby and mommy yoga, etc etc. Sounds like oh so much fun. This is where is goes downhill, FAST! Then I explain I work full-time, away from my baby. Everyone of them looks at me like I have two heads, like why would I choose not to stay home. I felt guilty, trust me I would MUCH MUCH prefer to stay home with my baby. And not be paying an arm and 1/2 a leg for someone else to care and nurture my nugget. But at this time it is not feasible for me to stay home full time. I feel the need to explain myself, and I shouldnt have too.

They were all sweet and invited us for weekend activities etc etc.

It could be me being sensitive, since I desperately want to be a stay at home mama, but I felt judged. The first time in 8 months of this mom gig. It broke my heart. I came home to my husband and vented my feelings. I was hurt I couldnt be a stay at home mom. I was hurt that we cannot get pregnant as soon as baby weans (b.c we cannot afford day care for two under two).  I was hurt that I felt judged.

I guess my little bubble has been popped. I am determined to bring it back! I will be happy that I get to be a mom. period. Regardless of our working arrangements!